I turned to partying, drank every day and barely ate after becoming overwhelmed with fame, says Towie’s Joey Turner
JOEY Turner has told of his secret struggle as he drank every day after becoming "overwhelmed" by fame.
The 20-year-old former Towie star said he spiralled out of control after reaching "breaking point".
In an exclusive interview with The Sun, Joey revealed he sought help to get his life back on track - and credits his mum for being his saviour.
Joey said: "In everyone's life there comes a point where they become overwhelmed by everything, especially when you spend your entire day constantly being talked at.
"You go home and then it's silent. It was really confusing.
"I left Towie to go to uni and do my own thing. But I was being constantly hounded like an animal.
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"Just because I'm in the public doesn't mean I'm not human, it's like people forget that.
"I began taking titles from how other people see me. It made me change the way I saw myself.
"If so many people are saying you're something, they must be right. But that's not how it should be."
Joey has suffered death threats and been called an "oxygen thief" over posting skinny snaps of himself online.
He insists the online outrage comes from "jealous" trolls who are facing their own body insecurities.
But he has now opened up about how the trolling drove him to party hard so he could drown out the negativity in his life.
"I overanalysed everything," Joey said.
"I got into my head too much. I felt like I was going insane.
"Everything felt numb. I wasn't sad, I just felt numb to the world. Everything was bleak and drained.
"When you are sad you can pinpoint something to tackle it and overcome it but when it's just numbness you're feeling you think 'well, where do I go from here?'
"I've always been someone who feels things thoroughly. I enjoy feeling my emotions.
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"I was going out all the time partying, but it got to the point where I wasn't enjoying it anymore.
"Things spiralled out of control. It's hard to describe. Everything was emotionless.
"I wanted to feel something - for someone to say something to me and for it to hurt me. I had gone from feeling so sad to feeling nothing at all.
"There was a point where I did feel overwhelmed with everything. It felt like I'd hit breaking point.
"I'm very lucky because I had family support around me. My mum cares about me very much and has been such a big support in my life.
"She always makes sure I'm eating and that I'm coping with everything.
"My family were my rehab."
Joey sparked concern from fans when they noticed his slender frame on Instagram.
"I'm someone who reacts very physically, he explains.
"My look has always been a reflection of how I felt on the inside.
"When I look back at those photos I posted I can see how sad I look.
"I was experiencing and enduring my emotions and through my look I portrayed that.
"I didn't have time to eat. I was so busy at such a young age.
"I didn't have a schedule or structure to my life. I was constantly on the go.
"When people scrutinise me I always think - what were you doing at 18? They will have made all the same mistakes as me.
"I didn't feel like a person anymore. I felt like a photograph who belonged to everyone else. I was missing out on all these things in life - like making true friends.
"I had become an object of the public, like their property, rather than a boy."
Despite his struggle since leaving Towie, Joey still praises the reality TV show that made him a famous face.
But it's his friends and family who helped pull him out of the dark hole he found himself in.
"The show was never for me," admits Joey.
"I have nothing but respect for the show and everything it gave me, but everything runs its course.
"I'm very grateful to have a good head on my shoulders. I am blessed to have my mum and good friends around me.
"I'm not Joey Turner with them, I'm just Joseph. There are no expectations, I don't have to live up to certain things.
"I got consumed by everything and if it wasn't for my friends I would still be going crazy. There was so much expected from me.
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"It was nice just to take a step back and be 'normal' with my friends."I don't want to censor myself for other people.
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"Why would I dilute my personality and sacrifice parts of myself for strangers."
