I need to understand how my beautiful baby daughter died for my own sanity, says heartbroken Lauren Goodger
REALITY TV’s Lauren Goodger says she is having a post-mortem on her baby daughter in a desperate attempt to find out exactly why she died.
She lost 9lb Lorena minutes after giving birth this month despite doctors battling to save her.
Speaking from her Essex home, Lauren, 35, told The Sun: “They think her oxygen may have been restricted. That is why I am having an autopsy.
“I need to understand how she died for my own sanity.”
Lauren has spoken of her anguish over the loss of her newborn baby, saying: “She looked like she was sleeping. I thought she’d wake up.”
And the reality TV star has revealed that she is having a post-mortem conducted to find out how her little girl Lorena died just minutes after the birth earlier this month.
Ten doctors tried in vain to save the 9lb tot but sadly she passed away — with Lauren then spending the following precious hours making memories with her.
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In her only newspaper interview Lauren says she wants to speak out to help others who have endured the same loss.
Speaking from her home in Essex, she told The Sun: “I went into hospital thinking I would come home with a baby girl but I came home with nothing.
“Lorena was a healthy baby and it was a textbook pregnancy.
“They think her oxygen may have been restricted because she had two knots in her cord but normally babies can still get enough oxygen despite this.
“This is why I am having an autopsy. I need to understand medically how she died for my own sanity.
“Lorena should be here with me. I held her and she looked like she was sleeping. I thought she would wake up.
“This has been the most traumatic experience of my life.
“Since Lorena passed away, I have had so many messages from other women who have gone through this too.
“I want to talk about her death to help other parents out there going through this. I want them to know they aren’t alone.”
Lauren, who has a one-year-old daughter Larose with her partner Charles Drury, had a healthy pregnancy with no complications.
Her waters broke on July 6 and Lauren was advised to remain at home, under the watchful eye of her midwife Tamzin, who previously delivered Larose.
Lauren says: “I was told to stay put after my waters broke because the risk of infection can be higher if you go to hospital.
“I had planned a natural home birth so I stayed put. Tamzin came and did all my vitals, and the baby’s, and we were both fine. I wasn’t high risk and my birth with Larose had been textbook.
“The following day it was the same and I could hear Lorena’s heartbeat loud and clear.
“On the third, the day I gave birth, I breastfed Larose and it started my contractions. Tamzin came but she could not feel her heartbeat — so she called an ambulance.”
Lauren was rushed to hospital and was taken to a delivery suite to give birth on July 8.
Her labour was just two hours long from start to finish.
She says: “The ambulance journey was traumatic, the sirens were going and we were going so fast.
“The baby’s head was coming out when I arrived at the hospital, I was in agony.
‘IN PIECES’
“I was taken into a private room and when the baby was being born the room started to fill with doctors. They said she had a low heart rate and took her to the side.
“Ten doctors started working on her. They were doing chest compressions and giving her adrenaline.
“Charlie was in pieces, he was screaming, ‘Please save my baby.’
“I was in shock. My midwife was with me and she said, ‘She will be fine.’ I thought she would be alright.”
Shortly afterwards, Lauren was told her daughter had passed away.
She adds: “I thought they’d found a heartbeat but they told me they hadn’t. I am not sure why they said she had one, maybe it was just a movement or from the adrenaline.
“It was awful. I sat in my bloodied sheets for four hours. They asked me if I wanted to shower and I said yes, but I just couldn’t move. I just sat there in shock.
“I have played it out over and over again in my head.
“On the second night after my waters had broken, my waters went again and I think the baby could have been more engaged because of that, which is what could have restricted the cord. But there was no distress and she had a strong heartbeat.
“Normally in that situation they would poo and you would have a coloured water but there was nothing. It was only when I went into labour, we realised something was wrong.”
The Queen’s Hospital in Romford is partnered with regional baby loss charity Petals, who were called upon immediately to help Lauren.
The charity, which works with ten NHS hospitals in the South East, arranged for a photographer to take pictures and an artist to take casts of Lorena’s hands and feet for her to keep.
Lauren says: “The hospital and Petals were amazing. Lorena stayed with me the whole time.
“I bathed her and put her in a white baby grow which belonged to Larose. It was beautiful.
‘I MISS LORENA SO MUCH’
“I held her and kissed her. I sang to her and we played songs.
“She just looked like she was asleep. That evening all of my family and Charlie’s family came to meet her.
“It was a very emotional evening, just tears and crying and crying. I stayed awake all night with her and the charity came the next day.
“They had her feet and hand prints done and then did casts.
“I have some locks of her hair and they gave us a candle for her. A photographer was organised and they took some beautiful pictures.
“My friends put two into a locket which I wear around my neck.”
Inside Lauren’s home, where on Wednesday she had watched her daughter Larose turn one, flowers and condolence cards are lined up on a dresser.
An annexe is full of Lorena’s belongings, including a double buggy for her and Larose, a newborn baby rocker and clothes.
The birthing pool, which Lauren had set up, sits in a corner.
Lauren went on: “Her clothes are absolutely beautiful. I want to give them and other bits to a charity which helps mums who are struggling.”
She gestures to a baby bouncer in the corner and adds: “I can’t have things like that in the house.
“I think I am ready to have clothes. But not anything else.”
Lauren is now planning a funeral for her daughter and, painfully, had to register her birth and her death in the same breath.
And she explained: “Each day I take it as it comes. Without Larose I would not be here. She is getting me through every day.
“I’ve been inundated with messages from people. There have been people in the public eye who have messaged me privately, people I know who wouldn’t have said hello to me if I saw them.
FOR MORE INFORMATION AND SUPPORT ABOUT BABY LOSS VISIT WWW.TOMMYS.ORG
“Women are in touch telling me their stories. Which is why I wanted to share mine. Their messages have helped me so much. I just hope my story helps other parents going through this know that they are not alone.”
In time Lauren plans to start working to raise awareness about baby loss and wants to highlight charities including Petals and Tommy’s — which is the UK’s largest baby loss charity.
She says: “Larose touches my locket, it is like she knows.
“I miss Lorena so much. I am never going to know what Lorena will be like, or look like, when she turns one.
“I don’t know what she’ll look like at four-months-old. That is what I keep thinking about. I so wanted Larose to have a sister to play with. That is what is so sad too.
“I carried her for 40 weeks. We had a connection. I know she is here with me every day but it isn’t the same.”
Queen’s Hospital said: “We would like to express our sincere condolences to Lauren and her family on the tragic loss of baby Lorena.
“Lauren was brought to our hospital in an ambulance after her midwife was unable to detect a heartbeat during a home birth, and despite the best efforts of our staff, sadly we were unable to resuscitate Lorena.”
The Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists said: “The loss of a baby is devastating and our deepest condolences go out to Lauren and her family.
“Tragically, around 100 of the 700,000 babies born in the UK each year die because something happens during labour and birth that is not anticipated or well managed.
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“The RCOG is committed to reducing this number with initiatives such as the Avoiding Brain Injuries in Childbirth project.
“Following the death of their baby, it is vital all women and their families receive compassionate, high-quality and respectful care, and there is support available from charities such as Sands and Tommy’s.”
Pros & cons of having a home birth
BEING natural doesn’t mean birth is an automatically safe process and that everybody gets the outcomes that they desire.
Sometimes intervention is necessary and sadly sometimes things go wrong, even with the best care.
Generally, risk of home birth is slightly higher for the first child, compared to a hospital delivery.
But for subsequent pregnancies, the risk is around the same.
The benefits are that you’re in familiar surroundings, and more likely to be relaxed and feel in control.
Your partner can be with you throughout and there’s no need to worry about childcare for other kids you may have.
There also seems to be a lower likelihood of having interventions, such as forceps or ventouse.
But these have to be balanced with the fact you will need to transfer to hospital if there are complications and that takes time.
And that pain relief options are limited.
For many women, it is definitely an option worth discussing with their antenatal team.
