HARD TIMES
Unmasking My Autism viewers in tears as Christine McGuinness reveals she ‘wanted to die’ after horrifying childhood rape
CHRISTINE McGuinness left viewers heartbroken as she revealed that she "wanted to die" after her horrifying childhood rape ordeal.
During BBC's Unmasking My Autism documentary, the mum-of-three said she would pray to "not wake up" after she was sexually abused growing up.
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Back in November 2021 Christine revealed she had been diagnosed with autism - just like her three children Penelope and Leo, nine, and six-year-old Felicity with ex Paddy, 49.
She was then told that she also suffers with ADHD.
Christine broke down in tears as she made the shocking revelation.
"My relationships before I met Patrick were not very good, I’d say they were all pretty bad experiences," she recalled.
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A choked up Christine said: “I don’t know how to say it? And before Patrick, I had been sexually abused. I was raped.
“I used to pray and it’s sad now when I think about it, I’d pray every night that I didn’t wake up in the morning.
"I didn’t want to live.
“Just because it was so awful. It was so awful.”
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She continued: "The abuse I suffered started when I was only nine-years-old and I wonder how many things in life could have been avoided if I had an earlier diagnosis and more support at school."
Viewers were in tears for Christine after her emotional confession.
One wrote: "The impact of sexual assault on autistic women and girls is so profound. Thank you Christine McGuinness for making this visible."
Another posted: "This is powerful…it's heartbreaking to hear about Christine McGuinness' sexual abuse."
A third said: "Christine McGuinness you brave brave woman," while a fourth echoed: "Christine is so brave for making this documentary. Well done Christine, I have a lot of respect for you. Be happy lovely."
A 2016 study found that autistic women are 13 times more likely to die by suicide than non-autistic women.
The mum-of-three discovered that she was autistic, and suddenly, for the very first time, her whole life began to make sense.
All the struggles she had faced growing up became clear, and Christine started to look at things from a new perspective and begin to make sense of who she really is.
Christine is on a mission to help improve the support girls receive in school - admitting her school years were the "worst time of her life".
The model recalled: "When I was at school I just remember it being the worst time in my life to the point where I didn’t want to live.
"There was just so much going on in my head, it’s just so sad to think that there could be teenage girls feeling the same.
"My sister and brother played a lot together, I suppose I was a bit of a loner.
"The thought of going into school everyday was just horrific.
"It was just the worst place for me to go.
"When I had physical outbursts I just couldn’t control it. I remember throwing chairs in the classroom, I remember pushing tables over. Remember screaming and shouting."
The ex-Real Housewives of Cheshire star revealed her eating disorder started shortly after at the age of 11.
"Lunchtimes again, the canteen was huge, I only did that once and never ate at school ever again.
"From age 11 I never ate at all, I never had periods, I remember my mum asked me age 14/15 and then she took me to see a doctor and that’s when I was diagnosed with an eating disorder."
Christine said she is now in a much better place and believes her diagnosis has given hr a new lease of life.
She added: "I’m excited for life now, I want to live as much as possible.
"I need to live forever because I have three little children but I want to live for me too.
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"I’m not scared any more.
"I’ve always wanted to travel, I always wanted to try different things, and I know now that I’m fully able to."
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