My daughter changed me after I was suicidal during Made In Chelsea – now I’m facing the toughest challenge of my life
AS the buff personal trainer on Made In Chelsea, who was dating Binky Felstead, Josh Patterson seemed like he had it all.
But, in reality, he was really struggling - and had been for a while.
Josh, now 33, first tried to kill himself when he was just 13 years old.
And he has previously admitted he “hit rock bottom” again in 2015, around the same time as he joined the cast of Made In Chelsea.
He said: “My self worth was non-existent to the point where I was going to take my life - and something in that moment stopped me from doing it.”
Now, he’s on a mission to prove it’s possible to turn your life around, and is on a mammoth challenge of running 76 marathons in 76 days, and planning to .
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If he finishes his challenge, he’ll be a world record holder, with the current world record standing at 62 consecutive marathons.
In an exclusive interview with The Sun, Josh opens up on how his life has been changed, since he became a father to daughter India, five, with his ex Binky, and how much she motivates him, even naming his camper van Elsa Mary Poppins, at her request.
'Exercise has saved my life'
Josh’s challenge would sound crazy to most people, but it’s his past that keeps him going.
He tells us: “I was in a position where I was going through an awful lot at that point in my life to the point where I contemplated suicide and I was lucky enough to have a therapist, who I've spoken to for 15 years now.
“But, to go through that, and have no family or friends to support you, or anyone who can help you through it, and to not have therapy, for me it's just unimaginable, so that's why I’m doing this.
"Exercise has saved my life, and I think these challenges are very much an expression of where I'm at.”
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Making India proud
The first month of Josh's challenge was the longest he'd ever been apart from his daughter India since she was born in June 2017.
She came to stay with him in the camper van last week, and it's her who's motivating him, even at his lowest, “super-fatigued” moments.
He says: “I can honestly say I think I've achieved more in my life the day India was born in all the years before that put together. Life had real purpose and meaning when she came into the picture.
“And being a dad is a really scary thing, because, as many parents there've been before your time, there is no rule book on how to be a good father and how to impact your child in the best way you possibly can.
“What her dad does is very unique - not many people have taken all the things that I've done, if any. This is a world first and I feel like this is my way of shaping my daughter and inspiring her.
“I just want her to know that if she has a dream that she should go for it, no matter how many people disbelieve in that dream. It's possible until it's impossible.”
Josh has been “missing India terribly” but has been speaking to her everyday, making sure “she’s up to date”.
He also has some very special nods to her throughout his challenge, even letting her name the campervan after two of her favourite movies, Frozen and Mary Poppins.
“She wanted to call it Elsa Mary Poppins, so we've got a three metre sticker on the back of the bus with ‘Elsa Mary Poppins’ on it,” he laughs. “My nails are still painted in Elsa nail varnish too.
“It's just about hanging on after over three weeks and every time she Facetimes me, she asks to see the nail varnish, so she knows I'm thinking of her.”
'Avengers-style team'
But it’s not just India that’s come along to support Josh.
He’s had people showing up and telling him stories on every step of his journey, as well as his team of experts at Until, who have helped him every step of the way with his marathon training.
Talking of his preparations for the marathon, he explains: “I think when it comes to training, people just expect you just to run a lot because you are going to be running a lot.
“But what was really important about this particular challenge, in comparison to others, was the timeframe. 76 days is a completely different kettle of fish, so things that I usually would be able to get away with, because I am so mentally strong, are only going to last for so long here.
“And so what was really key, was starting this challenge on the right note.
"Stepping off that start line wasn't about being the fittest person in the world. It was about being as injury and niggle-free as possible, so we basically got together as many specialists as possible in different fields, but it was almost like an Avengers-type team.