Axed EastEnders star Max Bowden reveals his struggle with ‘relentless pain and anger’ that led to Albert Square sacking

AXED EastEnders actor Max Bowden has opened up on his secret "personal journey of self love and acceptance" as he admitted he was "unable to cope" with grief.

The BBC One soap star, 29, who previously posted a touching message on the anniversary of his close pal's death, addressed the tricky subject on Instagram.

Max, who starred as Phil Mitchell's troubled eldest son Ben, admitted he felt "relentless waves of pain and anger" after his best friend's passing - and now wants to open up the conversation.

It has been a tricky time for the Woking-born star who was told his character was culled in a discussion with EastEnders bosses in December.

Now he has bravely posted a black and white video showing him reading Hussain Manawer poem You May Have Died, But You Are Still Alive to camera.

In his wording, he wrote: "Let’s talk about grief."

Max added: "This comes in the wake of a personal journey of self love and acceptance in my latter stages of grief, navigating a new outlook for what has happened and the profound effect it’s had on me and my everyday life.

"Let’s be honest, death is one of life’s certainties, yet we become inherently shocked by it when it happens and our lives become unmanageable - this is to be human.

"For a long time I felt unable to cope with the pain and relentless anger I felt towards the world in the wake of so much loss, well documented publicly.

"I now feel it’s time for me to open honest, frank, accepting conversation about the human experience of grief through discussion and art.

"I’d love to hear how anybody is dealing with grief personally right now be it positively or negatively in the comments, so we can somehow create a world in which we aid the majority.

"In the meantime listen to the beauty of these words from a true wordsmith, and remember, this too shall pass."

The screen star's lifestyle and chequered love life overshadowed the four years he played Ben.

Last year, bosses decided not to renew his contract when it ends this March.

It is said his character is unlikely to be killed off.

An EastEnders spokeswoman confirmed to the Sun: “Max will be leaving EastEnders next year.

“We wish him all the best for the future.”

In the midst of the contract woe, he was struggling with the passing of his best friend of 15 years, Maxwell Alexander Grey Thompson, who passed away in September 2021.

It was a completely devastating time for Max who also lost his friend Luke Goodings, while his agent pal Terry Mills passed away in that same year.

Max — who is the sixth actor to play Ben — has been involved in some of the show’s biggest storylines.

The actor was a key part in Danielle Harold’s heartbreaking brain tumour storyline as the character she played, Lola Pearce-Brown, was mum to his daughter, Lexi.

Meanwhile, off-screen, Max hasn't been far from the headlines.

He enjoyed a short-lived romance with former co-star Shona McGarty - with the duo sadly splitting up after six months together.

The Sun exclusively reported how they decided it wasn't going to work after Max became a dad for the first time with his ex girlfriend.

Meanwhile, he had a lucky escape as our exclusive images showed him emerging from the wreckage of a three-car crunch.

His Mercedes CLA motor was left smashed but thankfully the star remained unscathed.