JEREMY Clarkson has revealed his Farmer's Dog pub is a 'total disaster' - and he's burning through cash after 104 thefts in ONE DAY.
The Clarkson's Farm star opened his Oxfordshire pub a few months ago, with fans flocking to pay the watering hole a visit.
But despite the queues out the door and famous faces dropping by, Jeremy has revealed being a pub landlord is not all it's cracked up to be.
In a new column for , he said: "Behind the scenes, then, everything is a total disaster. But the fact is that when you go there you just wouldn’t know."
Jeremy detailed a number of unexpected issues he and the team had come across lately, including a customer having a serious bout of diarrhoea in one of the loos which required " a whole team of chemically trained hazmat engineers" to sort it out.
While Jeremy may be exaggerating a tad on that front, the numbers elsewhere don't lie.
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He said: "The theft, for example, is extraordinary. People seem to have it in their heads that if they come in for a pint they are entitled to go home with the glass in which it was served.
"Last Sunday 104 went missing. And that cost must be added to the £100 a day we spend on fuel for the generator, the £400 a week it costs to provide warmth on the terrace and the £27,000 a month we must spend on parking and traffic marshals to keep the council off our back."
He continued: "It’s galling to see how much effort is required to make so little money on the farm. It’s worse at the pub.
"The customers are coming. There’s no problem there. But turning their visits into a profit is nigh-on impossible."
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Jeremy and his partner Lisa have also faced unexpected hurdles in the run up to Christmas, with Lisa's goose night not going quite to plan, and only managing to sell five turkeys.
But despite all that, Jeremy is determined to keep going with his latest enterprise.
He concluded his column by saying: "It’s warm and there’s a fire and the staff are friendly and young and happy.
"It’s a proper, traditional pub. By which I mean you’ll love it, and I’ll lose a fortune and develop a skin disease from the stress of running it."