BBQ’s with Prince Harry, nearly getting tasered thanks to Prince Philip, and cupping a corgi’s balls – Joey Essex learns about the royal family
Dim-witted Essex lad returns to TV to learn about the Monarchy and the EU
He may be 95 years old and married to the Queen, but Prince Philip has flown completely under Joey Essex’s radar. Yet the Duke of Edinburgh apparently recognised Joey as he filmed his new documentary series.
“I saw the Queen walking from Windsor Castle during a street parade for her 90th birthday, but she missed me,” explains the former The Only Way Is Essex star, 25. “Then Prince Philip walked over, and must have thought: ‘That’s that Joey Essex kid.’ He said: ‘You’d better jump the fence if you want to meet her.’ I was thinking: ‘Who’s this geezer?’ I thought he was security, but he turned out to be the Queen’s husband!
“The police came over and I was like: ‘He just asked me to jump the fence, mate.’ And they were like: ‘If you’d have jumped the fence you would have got tasered.’ I went: ‘Mate, I would not care if you done that to me. If you tasered me, that would have been sick.’”
The unique encounter was just one of many for Joey, who’s made two new ITV2 programmes, one about the Royal Family and another about the upcoming EU referendum. Unfortunately, Joey didn’t meet Prince Harry.
“A lot of people have said they think I’d get on with him because he’s a bit of a player,” says Joey, who’s reportedly earned over £4million since making his name in TOWIE. “He goes to Vegas, he has a laugh, he don’t taktd take him to my house, have a barbecue and jump in the pool. Then a game of tennis on my tennis court, then probably sunbathe. I think he’d really love it.”
Joey did, however, meet Dickie Arbiter, who spent years working closely with the Royals.
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“He told me amazing stories,” he says. “Once, he, the Queen and two others had had lunch in the garden and he said: ‘I’ll do the dishes.’ Then the Queen walked in and said: ‘I’ll do the dishes’, and he said: ‘Okay, your Majesty.’ You always had to obey what she said. There was no: ‘Oh, no, don’t worry about it.’”
Despite throwing himself into his new series, Joey drew the line at one thing.
“I learned to train corgis,” he reveals. “At the end of the lesson they tried to make me cup the dog’s testicles – apparently that’s what they do. It’s absolute filth. I thought to myself: ‘If I do this, it’s gonna interfere with my mind for ever.’ So I managed to completely swerve it.”
Next week sees Joey investigate the EU Referendum in Educating Joey Essex: What EU Sayin’, which brought Joey together with Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn.
“I didn’t know who he was,” admits Joey. “I offered to take him to the Sugar Hut. He declined, but he might take me up on my stylist offer. He’s got bad dress sense, his trousers are sore – they’re too wide. And that jacket looks like he’s been wearing it for three months. I’d take his trousers in and buy him seven jackets – one for every day of the week. His shirt was all, like, dodgy and that too. Not that I’m mugging him off, I’m just speaking the truth.
“It really feels like going back to school, I’m learning every single day, taking one for the country. It’s really hurting my brain, I’m learning so much. And I’m glad I’m going to help so many other people learn too.”
Aside from swotting up on the big issues affecting the UK, does Joey have time for love?
“I’m talking to a few girls, but no one serious,” he says. “The girls I’m talking to know I don’t want a girlfriend, I’ve told them that. I haven’t got time to have a girlfriend, it’s too much commitment, man, it’s like a job. I think I might go after [singer] Ariana Grande, though, there’s no such thing as aiming too high.”
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