Louise Redknapp reveals she was ‘lonely, anxious and unloved’ before divorce from Jamie
LOUISE Redknapp has opened up about feeling "lonely, anxious and unimportant" in her marriage to ex-husband Jamie.
The singer, 46, spoke about the real reason she ended her 19-year marriage shortly after she appeared on Strictly Come Dancing.
Louise said in her new autobiography there was trouble brewing behind the scenes, despite publicly appearing like the perfect celebrity couple.
She wrote: "For a long time, I ticked all the boxes of being the 'picture-perfect' wife. The truth? For a lot of that time, I actually felt lonely, anxious and unimportant."
Louise added: "Looking back, I wish I'd sat down and really tried to explain how much I was struggling, how unimportant I felt in our lives together and how depressed this made me feel.
"I wish I'd been honest and said I felt unloved. I never spoke about how things were at home to a single soul."
The singer explained that she felt insignificant and alone as Jamie's career as a footballer and then a pundit soared.
Her return to public life came in 2016 when she agreed to appear on BBC's Strictly Come Dancing and almost winning the show reignited her passion for performing.
The star admitted that she wanted to go back to work on a stage in front of an audience but battled with OCD, self-doubt, depression and an unshakable feeling that she "wasn't good enough".
She wrote: "When I was married I honestly got to the stage that when I walked into a room with Jamie, I felt like other people were surprised that he had chosen me and was still with me."
Louise revealed that cruel online comments about her appearance affected her self-esteem and she didn't feel like an "equal" in her relationship.
After the collapse of her marriage, Louise was frightened of losing her confidence again, she explained that she started "running away" from her old life to the point where she "couldn't put it back together".
The ex-Eternal star wed Jamie in 1998. They have sons Charley, 16, and Beau, 12. They divorced in 2018.
The star admitted that she still has regrets about leaving her fairytale marriage and not putting more effort into trying to save the relationship.
Louise said: “I should have paused and thought about other people and had just a bit more time to work out why I felt I couldn’t do it any more.
“I wish I’d tried. I want to say to anyone thinking of running: Just slow down. Don’t run," she explained.
"Because once you run too fast, you can’t make up the ground you’ve lost. Stop, say what you need, say what you think, don’t be afraid to say what’s really going on. You don’t have to be quiet."
But the star admitted feeling proud of reclaiming her career on Strictly after spending years of out of the limelight.
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"I had a spring in my step. I just thought: 'God, I’m all right. I look better, I feel better, I’m good at what I do, the audiences are voting for me'," she said.
"I was super-grateful. And for the first time in a really long time, I loved myself."