Jack Tweed says he still struggles to live without Jade Goody after her death left him battling suicidal thoughts
JACK Tweed has revealed he's still struggling to live without late wife Jade Goody 12 years after her tragic death.
While he's overcome the deep depression that followed Jade's death from cervical cancer, Jack said he's "still not 100 per cent" the man he was before losing her.
In the years since, he's battled alcohol and cannabis addiction as well as suicidal thoughts.
Speaking exclusively to The Sun, he said: “I didn't know how to deal with it when I was young. I didn't know what else to do.
“All I could think about was how depressed I was and I would just sit there and just constantly think about Jade.
“So I’d just have a drink every day, it would go from there.
“Then I’d get pictured having a drink and people would think I don't care about anything."
While his family did their best to support him by encouraging him to seek counselling, Jack admits he ignored their advice and lost control.
“I’d just sit at home, think about Jade, start crying and then think the only thing to do was go out and drink vodka," he said.
“I wish I didn't do that and I wish I dealt with it a different way.
“I still drink now but not every day - maybe once every couple of weeks or once a month.
“I started smoking weed after I stopped drinking, and I went through a stage where I got really, really depressed.
“I replaced the booze for weed and it took me a good four months to get rid of it, to get out of the habit of smoking every day - I was spending £100 a day.
The constant substance abuse eventually took its toll and Jack was left at breaking point.
“I was just blocking everything. I got to the stage where I was just so, so depressed and down and I just didn't know what to do with my life and I went to see my mum.
“I sat down with my mum for about four hours, just crying, thinking I just didn't want to be here anymore. I just wanted everything to end.
“I just didn't have any energy. All I could think about was committing suicide. I just wanted to just go asleep and not wake up."
Thankfully, daily talks with his mum and anti-depressant medication helped his outlook improve.
He said: “Just spending time with my mum. Basically, just going shopping, just to take my mind off everything and make me feel like I was half normal.
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“And then that was it, I done that for a couple of months and then I started taking some anti-depressant tablets.
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“I think I took them for like seven months, eight months and then that was it. And then since then, I wouldn't say I'm a hundred percent but I'm getting through. I'm not depressed anymore.”
Jack’s now a changed man and is working as an electrician - the job he did before meeting Jade.
YOU'RE NOT ALONE
EVERY 90 minutes in the UK a life is lost to suicide.
It doesn't discriminate, touching the lives of people in every corner of society - from the homeless and unemployed to builders and doctors, reality stars and footballers.
It's the biggest killer of people under the age of 35, more deadly than cancer and car crashes.
Yet it's rarely spoken of, a taboo that threatens to continue its deadly rampage unless we all stop and take notice, now.
That is why The Sun launched the You're Not Alone campaign.
The aim is that by sharing practical advice, raising awareness and breaking down the barriers people face when talking about their mental health, we can all do our bit to help save lives.
Let's all vow to ask for help when we need it, and listen out for others... You're Not Alone.
If you, or anyone you know, needs help dealing with mental health problems, the following organisations provide support:
- CALM, , 0800 585 858
- Heads Together,
- Mind, , 0300 123 3393
- Papyrus,, 0800 068 41 41
- Samaritans, , 116 123