Casualty actress Holly Matthews’ opens up about heartbreak over husband’s incurable brain tumour – days after hard-hitting storyline is screened on show
Holly talks about the prospect of losing her husband, as they raise their two young daughters
CASUALTY actress Holly Matthews has opened up about her heartbreak, as her husband Ross Blair bravely battles an incurable brain tumour, revealing that despite his prognosis, she cannot “face the word widow.”
The actress, 31, has shared this news just days after Casualty aired its storyline which saw Glen tell his girlfriend Robyn that he had a glioblastoma, an aggressive primary malignant brain tumour in adults.
And today Holly shared her and Ross’ own journey in an emotional post.
Holly and Ross, 31, have two young daughters, Brooke, five and Texas, three, and the actress revealed that her husband was first diagnosed in February 2014 with a rare, aggressive and malignant brain tumour and was given a 50-50 chance of surviving five years.
Ross, who also has Asperger’s, had surgery and 11 months of chemo, and during one of his three monthly scans they were told in May that his tumour was growing again, and is having surgery today.
Holly writes on The Mail Online: “Doctors have warned us that risks include stroke, paralysis, blindness and death. But we feel it's a risk worth taking to buy more time with us.
“When Ross was first diagnosed, doctors ticked the box that said treatment was aiming to 'cure', not the 'prolong life' box. We clung on to that for reassurance.
“Now we are in the 'prolong' box.
“At 31, I've had conversations with my husband I never imagined at my age. Despite his prognosis, I cannot face the word widow.”
It was love at first sight for the couple who met eight years ago, and married eleven months after Brooke was born in February 2012, however shortly before then Ross started to suffer from the first symptoms of his brain tumour.
“He started suffering low moods and became very depressed when Brooke was about six months old. The GP prescribed antidepressants and he also had cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and went to meditation classes. He had good and bad days.”
Holly continues: “When Brooke was 14 months old, Ross was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome. We were relieved. Having a 'label' helped us understand how his mind works.
“Texas was born on February 24, 2013. Ross had days when he was snappy or withdrawn. Again we assumed it was his condition that made it hard for him to adjust to being a dad-of-two.
“But, looking back, I think they were symptoms of his brain tumour.”
Holly explains that around December 2013 when she was staring in Casualty as Gina Timpson, Ross started becoming depressed and suffering from terrible headaches, however, he was told that they were just migraines and prescribed painkillers.
“One morning a week later, Ross woke up in agony with a headache. When he got up, he couldn't keep his balance. 'I feel dizzy, Holly,' he said. 'And I've got spots in front of my eyes’”, writes Holly.
“Then he started vomiting.”
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Holly took him to the hospital, and says she knew whatever was wrong with Ross was serious, but she never expected it to be a brain tumour. Doctors told them he had an egg-sized tumour and that Ross would need chemo and radiotherapy.
“Stunned, I felt like I was sinking into the floor. Thinking his mum would buckle, I looked over, maybe to catch her. I saw my shock reflected in her eyes.
“Ross was shocked, too, but calm. He just asked what the next stage was.”
Doctors removed most of the tumour during a five hour operation in February 2014, and two weeks later they were told that it was cancerous - a rare grade 4 primitive neuro-ectodermal tumour (PNET) which is normally found in children, which he had six weeks of head to spine radiotherapy followed by eight months of chemo.
“Until this year, Ross's tumour has been stable, although, since surgery, he has suffered seizures every three or four months.
“But, we have lived a fairly normal life until now…
“Finding out Ross' tumour has grown was even harder this time. We'd lived in a bubble for two-and-half years and suddenly here was a huge wake up call.
“After the appointment, we just sat in the hospital car park in silence. Then Ross asked me where I wanted to live when he's no longer with me.
“Where 'I' wanted to live.
“That's when I broke down.
“I don't want to be an I. I want to be an us.
"As usual, Ross has taken it in his stride – I believe his autism and black and white view of the world has helped him to cope.
“We are sorting out practical stuff like power of attorney. But being honest with the girls is the hardest part.
“How can I tell my little girls – Texas who looks like a mini-Ross and Brooke who has the same strength of character - that the daddy they adore, who treats them like little adults and makes them crack up in giggles - won't be around to see them grow up?
“But I will answer their questions honestly when they ask in their own time.”
Holly now says her main focus is to keep a positive mindset and that her and her family “refuse to be victims”, which is why she supports which funds research for cures, in the hope that she can “achieve something positive out of our heartache.”
She finishes on a positive note: “Although I allow myself moments of preparation for the worst, my main focus is on the right now. Ross is here now and it's the now we're living in.
“Happiness is a choice and, so even through all of this, we are happy.”
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