I cradled my dead baby girl for hours after she died while on Lanzarote holiday, says 90’s TV star Danielle Nicholls
A TV star has told how she cradled her baby girl for hours after she died suddenly on a family holiday.
Danielle Nicholls - who fronted CITV in the late 1990s with Stephen Mulhern - has revealed the heartache her and husband Dean Holden faced after their 17-month old tot Cici suddenly passed away.
A decade on from the tragedy, Danielle has spoken out about how she and ex-Bolton Wanderers defender Dean have learned to live with their pain.
In 2012, the couple and their three kids spent nine hours waiting for a delayed flight to the Canary Islands and when they finally landed, baby Cici was not her usual self.
Danielle told the : "She was exhausted and really lethargic, but we put that down to her being 17 months and that we'd been travelling all that time.
"We woke up once with her in the night and she was a little bit warm. We gave her a bit of Calpol, changed her nappy and put her back in bed. But by the time we got up the next morning we knew she wasn't right."
As her condition quickly deteriorated, Cici was rushed to hospital before being airlifted to the closest intensive care unit.
But tragically, little Cici died within three hours, having suffered meningococcal septicemia - a bacterial infection which causes blood poisoning, leading to sepsis.
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"That's what's scary for people I think - how quickly it can develop," Danielle said.
"She'd never, ever left my side, she hadn't even stayed at grandma's.
"It felt like I was in a horror movie. I can't be scared by a horror movie anymore because my actual life was that frightening.
"To hold your dead kid in your arms for two hours when she had died, just because I couldn't let go of her.
"She was our most laid back, chilled out kid. I'd waited ages to have my little girl."
Dean - who is now assistant manager for Stoke City - says after Cici's sudden death on May 21, 2012, he felt like he was "in some kind of trance".
They had to return to their villa and broke the devastating news to their young sons, then aged just three and four, before making arrangements to fly their dead daughter home.
Danielle and Dean say they struggled to come to terms with their daughter's death and embarked on a process involving therapy, hypnotherapy and other coping mechanisms.
"I can't remember the first days and weeks after she died because you're just in some kind of trance," Dean said.
'LEARN TO LIVE WITH PAIN'
"The biggest thing is your personality just completely changes overnight - and then you start behaving in a way you never have before."
The family were supported by Meningitis Now - with Dean and Danielle, who live in Worsley, Salford, recently becoming ambassadors having raised funds for the charity.
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A decade on from Cici's death, they feel able to be a strong voice for the organisation.
"Every day you do the work. It doesn't matter how long it is," Danielle said.
"When your kid dies, you never feel any less pain...you learn to live with the pain.
"Now is the time that I want to say to people, it's OK to not be OK, but by being that person - not just by saying it."
Danielle and Dean - who tragically suffered five miscarriages since Cici's death - have gone on to have two more children, Mitzi, eight, and Chase, three.
Their sons Joey and Ellis are now 14 and 13.
What is sepsis?
SEPSIS is a life-threatening reaction to an infection and happens when your immune system overreacts to an infection and starts to damage your body's tissue and organs.
The condition is always triggered by an infection - but it is not contagious and cannot be passed from person to person.
Most often the culprit is an infection we all recognise - pneumonia, urinary infections (UTIs), skin infections, including cellulitis, and infections in the stomach, for example appendicitis.
Typically, when a person suffers a minor cut, the area surrounding the wound will become red, swollen and warm to touch.
This is evidence the body's immune system has kicked into action, releasing white blood cells to the site of the injury to kill off the bacteria causing the infection.
The white blood cells and platelets form blood clots in the tissues around the cut.
Blood vessels swell to allow more blood to flow, and they become leaky, allowing infection-fighting cells to get out of the blood and into the tissues where they are needed.
This causes inflammation, which appears to us as the red, warm swelling.
When sepsis happens, this system goes into overdrive.
The inflammation that is typically seen just around the minor cut, spreads through the body, affecting healthy tissue and organs.
The immune system - the body's defence mechanism - overreacts and the result is it attacks the body.
It can lead to organ failure and septic shock, which can prove fatal.
Bacteria, viruses, fungi and parasites can all trigger sepsis - though the most dangerous culprit is bacteria.
The terms sepsis and septicaemia both refer to a blood infection that's typically caused by bacteria.
Even though the definitions are closely related, there are some small differences.
Sepsis occurs when your body reacts to a severe infection, whereas septicaemia is the name of the infection itself.
The NHS explains: "Sepsis can affect multiple organs or the entire body, even without blood poisoning or septicaemia.
"Sepsis can also be caused by viral or fungal infections, although bacterial infections are by far the most common cause."
