I finally feel like I could get married again – but fear I’d be betraying Jade Goody, says husband Jack Tweed
JADE Goody’s husband Jack Tweed has revealed he could see himself marrying again one day, although he feels he would be betraying his late wife.
Speaking exclusively to The Sun in the week he marked the 13th anniversary of the Big Brother star’s tragic death, Jack admits he is finally coming to terms with the idea of moving on.
The 34 year-old reveals: “For years I have always said, ‘No, I would never marry again. I don’t want to,’ because I have been married to the person I wanted to get married to.
"But as I have got older, I don’t want to live for the rest of my life on my own. Jade wouldn’t want that.
"She said to me at the end, even though I didn’t want to listen or let her say it, she said, ‘I want you to meet someone.'”
But despite knowing he had Jade’s blessing, Jack, who lives in Brentwood, Essex and works as an electrician, says the idea of walking up the aisle with someone else still makes him feel uncomfortable.
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“I would feel guilty if I married someone else, because that would mean I wasn’t married to Jade anymore,” he explains. “I would feel like I was betraying her.”
Jade wed Jack on 22 February 2009 when she was in the final days of her brave fight against cervical cancer, passing away a month later on 22 March, aged just 27.
Devastatingly, the date of her death also happened to fall on Mother’s Day and she left behind her two sons, Bobby and Freddy, then five and four, from her previous relationship with Jeff Brazier.
Jack is currently in a new relationship - he prefers to keep his girlfriend’s name private - but he is wary that his enduring love for Jade proves a challenge for anyone he grows close to.
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He says: “I am seeing a girl but it is early days. We get on well, but it is hard for me to form romantic relationships since Jade.
“I got into a relationship over lockdown but that ended because I did an interview about Jade and my ex was like, ‘I am never going to compare to her’, so that just ended.
"It’s hard for anyone to replace Jade, because she will always be the love of my life.”
'I will never get over Jade's death'
After 13 years without Jade in his life, Jack says the grief never goes away.
“It doesn’t get easier,” he insists. “I will never get over Jade’s death, you just learn to deal with it better.
“It doesn’t feel like it’s been 13 years at all. I can still hear her talking, and it feels like yesterday when I last saw her.
“I still talk to her, especially when I visit her grave, but then that also makes me feel sad because obviously I know I will never get a reply . I don’t think I will ever not cry when I think about her.
“Even now, I find it hard to be on my own because that’s when I sit there thinking about Jade, the life we used to have and the life we could have had today.
"It gets a bit too much, so I just constantly keep myself busy and don’t sit down on the sofa until like ten at night.”
'The anniversary is always tough'
On Jade’s most recent anniversary last Tuesday, Jack visited her graveside and spent the day with his memories.
He explains: “The anniversary is always tough. I sit at her grave for a few hours and watch videos of her on my phone.
“There is so much footage of Jade out there that there is no danger of ever forgetting what she sounded like or looked like. I also have a bottle of the perfume she released, Shh... and I smell that to remember her.
“I have a candle too that someone gave us for our wedding that is engraved with the dates of our first date, our wedding day, and the day she died.
"I lit that for a minute on her anniversary and then I blew it out because I never want it to run out. I want it to last forever.”
Jack says he often thinks about what Jade and his life togerther would look like now if she was still alive.
“We would definitely have had kids together,” he smiles. “We lost a baby, but we would have kept trying for more.
“I also think Jade would still be famous and working in the industry. She had plans to open her own fitness bootcamp and more beauty salons.
'I feel closer to Jade when I talk to her boys Bobby and Freddy'
“I do smile to myself about how she would have found social media because Instagram and Twitter weren’t really around when she was here. I definitely think she would have got herself in trouble on there!”
One thing that has helped Jack still feel connected to Jade is rebuilding his relationship with her sons, who are now 18 and 17.
For years, Jack didn’t see Bobby and Freddy as they lived with Jeff, and last year told The Sun how he “desperately misses” them.
But after he bumped into Bobby at their mutual friend, TOWIE star James ‘Arg’ Argent’s house, they bonded again.
Jack says: “I speak to the boys much more now than I did and that really helps. They message me and I love being in their lives again.
“I’ve never tried to replace their dad, I know that I’m not their father, but they know that if they ever need anything, they can speak to me.
“It makes me feel a lot closer to Jade when I talk to them, and I know she would he so happy that we are close again.
“I messaged them on their mum’s anniversary this week and told them how proud their mum would have been of them. They are so much like her in a lot of ways.”
It’s been longer, however, since Jack had any contact with Jade’s mum, Jackiey Budden.
Jack reveals: “I haven’t spoken to Jackiey for a good few months. I need to get back in contact with her. I tried ringing her a few times but she must have a different number.
“Bobby and Freddy still see her though. She is still living in South London and they tell me she’s well.”
'I've got my life back together'
Jack also reveals he is in a much better place today, after battling alcohol and cannabis addiction as well as suicidal thoughts in the years since Jade’s death.
He previously admitted to The Sun how he “just wanted everything to end” until he started taking antidepressants and turned to his family for support.
Now, Jack says: “I am in control of my life. I don’t take antidepressants anymore and have been off them for about a year.
“I don’t feel suicidal anymore either. I know that’s the last thing Jade would ever want me to do, and I would just be putting my family through the same pain I had when I lost Jade.”
Jack is also in the process of partnering with cervical cancer charity, The Trust for Complementary Cancer Rehabilitation, and will be holding a ball soon to raise money in Jade's memory.
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He says: “Of course I will miss her every day, but I can genuinely say that I am happy and I’m in a good place.
"I hope Jade would be proud of me.”
