Luisa Zissman sympathises with The Apprentice candidates as they begin to feel the pressure in week 3
Former Apprentice star is still unimpressed by the girls bursting into tears when the going gets tough
OK so I’m properly hooked and in full Apprentice-loving mode this week.
The teams were mixed up so it wasn’t boys vs girls anymore. I never like boys vs girls because however much ‘GIRL POWER’ the girls try to inject, they always seem to fall short next to the boys (very annoying!)
They had to manufacture sweets, brand them and head to Brighton to sell them.
Cake entrepreneur (sound familiar?) Alana was made PM by Sugsy as was sausage maker Oliver.
Despite making big fat round sausages everyday, Oliver’s rock-making skills weren’t ideal. His team soon started to lose faith in him and their morale was as flat as his supposed-to-be-round rock.
Luckily for Oliver he had good old Irish girl Grainne on hand to take charge.
Cut to the branding and we see that Oliver’s sweet brand has been named….. SUCK IT AND SEA! I’m not even joking. SUCK IT AND SEA!
Now I know I have a very childish over-sexualised mind but come on, surely the whole nation burst into fits of laughter like me when they saw that? However the crude innuendo was lost on the personality-less candidates as they simply carried on branding. *nothing to see here*
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The laughs continued as monobrow man Karthik started yelling at Brighton’s holiday makers “SUCK IT! WHO WANTS TO SUCK IT?”
Well, that made the punters run a mile...hearing a deranged one-eyebrowed pervert yelling at people to 'SUCK IT' is hardly the best sales tactic is it? I was in stitches.
All this whilst lovable dopey bloke Oliver was cycling their sweetie cart down Brighton seafront, narrowly missing people before crashing into some bollards… Hilarious calamities yes, smart businessmen? Definitely not.
Alana had a mini breakdown. The saying ‘can’t stand the heat, get out the kitchen’ sprung to mind as she stepped outside to compose herself.
The Apprentice can be overwhelming. It’s actually a lot harder than it looks, and you’re always tired because of those insane early starts.
But I really wish the girls would stop being such hormonal emotional car crashes. It really lets the bra burners down.
Paul - who I hadn’t noticed at all previously - particularly stood out this episode. Mainly because he was quite possibly the only one who appeared to have more than two brain cells.
He basically spent the whole episode p***ed off, astonished and exhausted by the team’s stupidity.
It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out Oliver’s team had lost. Perhaps more obviously he was fired.
He reminded me of Jason in my year. Posh, lovely, but a complete chocolate teapot.
Sugar tried to make it more dramatic teasing us with possibly giving the finger to Mukai, who really did deserve it.
I mean the guy kept negotiating really bad deals! Anyway he was safe this time, but I think his days might be numbered…