Our reporter dishes up a classic Steak Diane for MasterChef: The Professionals judges Marcus Wareing and Monica Galetti… but it could be a massive mis-steak
Our intrepid reporter pulls on her whites to prepare a 70s classic for the judgemental pair who have driven so many UK chefs to breaking point
IT is the show that reduces some of the UK’s chefs to breaking point.
MasterChef: The Professionals is returning to our screens next week with the judgmental Marcus Wareing and Monica Galetti ready to pull faces at what is dished up.
I pulled on my whites to cook ’70s classic, Steak Diane under the watchful eye of the judges to see what the terrified contestants will have to endure.
"I’m no Nigella, but even I know that throwing half a bottle of brandy over a steak and setting it on fire is not a great idea.
Especially when the people you’re cooking for are chefs used to Michelin-starred restaurants.
But there’s something about the atmosphere in the kitchen on Masterchef: The Professionals that makes you more wobbly than a perfect panna cotta.
Marcus has already told me that my steak needs “bashing out” with a medieval-style spiked mallet so it cooks faster. But how much bashing does your average bit of meat need?
After gingerly giving the steak a few whacks, I prepare my other ingredients, hoping that the little piles of shallots, mushrooms and parsley will bring on a Delia-style trance. I’m relieved I haven’t got to gut a fish or make pastry but even though I’ve cooked lots of steaks, I’m terrified of serving it raw or, even worse, well done.
As any MasterChef fan knows, not seasoning your food is a surefire way to get sent home, so before my meat goes in the pan it gets lashings of salt and pepper.
I am determined not to give it more than two minutes on each side, but get distracted by Marcus coming over to ask whether I think it’s cooked yet.
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Suddenly my confidence evaporates. And what’s more, my steak is not sizzling very much — because I have accidentally managed to turn off the hob.
I go for the brandy, wondering if I should be adding the mushrooms instead and before I know it I’ve poured in more than half the bottle. Whoops.
If I thought the meat mallet was scary, that was because I hadn’t thought about using a blowtorch on that amount of brandy — my pan keeps up a good, high blaze for what feels like ten minutes.
When it finally dies down, there is a lot of brandy left swilling about so I add some French mustard and lashings of Worcestershire sauce to compensate.
One minute before Marcus and Monica announce my time is up, I dip my finger into the pan to taste the sauce and my eyeballs nearly pop out.
It needs a lot more cream and a lot less of everything else. But it’s a bit too late now.
As Monica and Marcus cut into the steak, I’m relieved to see it is medium-rare. But they are more interested in my glaring errors — and don’t hold back when it comes to telling me.
Marcus explains: “There is far too much sauce and far, far too much mustard in the dish.”
Monica adds: “There is so much sauce that when you cut in to the steak you can’t actually see how it’s cooked because there is so much on top.”
Oh well. Nerves might have got the better of me, but I didn’t get sent home for a lack of seasoning!"
MasterChef: The Professionals returns to BBC Two next Tuesday at 8pm