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HANNAH'S PAIN
Paul Cattermole’s death changed everything… I don’t know if I’ll sing with S Club again, says Hannah Spearritt
THEY topped the charts and sold millions of records as one of our best-loved pop bands.
But Hannah Spearritt says she has not heard from her S Club 7 bandmates since her shock decision in May to quit their 25th anniversary tour.
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In an exclusive interview, the star reveals she left the reunited group after suffering crippling panic attacks following the tragic death of her first love Paul Cattermole.
And as the band kick off a string of sold-out dates on Thursday, she cannot say whether she will ever appear back on stage with them.
Hannah, 42, said: “Will I ever perform with them again? I just don’t know.
"I’m glad that the tour is still going ahead and the songs will live on, but now I’m looking forward, not backwards.”
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And she says her old bandmates, Rachel Stevens, 45, Jon Lee, 41, Bradley McIntosh, 42, Jo O’Meara, 44, and 47-year-old Tina Barrett, haven’t been in touch.
The mum-of-two revealed: “I’ve not spoken to any of them since I left, which is fine.
“I’m really sad we aren’t in touch. They’ve gone their way and I’ve gone mine. I wish them all the best.”
Hannah pulled out of the reunion tour a month after the death of her former love and fellow band member Paul, as she struggled with her mental and physical health.
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She explained: “I was extremely excited — we all were — to get back as a seven.
"But then Paul died and everything changed. It gave me time to reflect on whether it was the right thing for me to do.
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“I hadn’t been in the best of health — I’ve got a compromised immune system and stress makes it worse.
“My body just couldn’t cope with everything that was happening. I wasn’t myself.
"I was getting these crippling panic attacks, was suffering from really bad vertigo and was tired all the time.
“It was affecting my kids too, because I had no energy to do anything with them.”
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She added: “The more I started to think about what it was that I wanted, the more I realised that I just couldn’t go back. It was causing me a great deal of stress.
“It felt like S Club was so long ago, and I know it’s a cliché but life is short. It just didn’t feel right.
“In the end, I had to make a decision that was right for me and my family.
"I’d like to apologise to the fans — the last thing I wanted to do was to let them down.”
Instead, Hannah is launching her bombshell book Facing The Music on Thursday — the same day the five remaining members of S Club take to the stage in Manchester, performing for the first time without her and Paul.
Paul, 46, died from multiple heart problems in April — seven weeks after all seven members of the 90s pop band announced their comeback.
At first Hannah feared it was suicide and started “blaming myself”.
Her concern stemmed from a “deeply disturbing” email she received from Paul in 2021, which resulted in the former lovers sitting down with a mediator in January.
Hannah said: “I will never ever reveal the contents of that email.
“It’s not in my book and I will take it to the grave. I didn’t tell anybody about it at the time because it was pretty clear that he wasn’t very well.
“The things he said were of great concern. It was a lot.”
So when news of their mediation was made public just days before Paul died, Hannah panicked.
She said: “I started blaming myself. I had all these things going through my head — it was all blame, blame, blame. It was horrible.
“I thought maybe he believed the email was about to come out and that perhaps I was about to share it.”
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In her book, Hannah charts her rise to fame, from childhood dreams of performing to moving to London and living in a raucous flatshare with actress and singer Sheridan Smith.
She recalls how the fun- loving pair once “passed out” in the lounge of their home after a night of dancing and drinking games.
At the time Sheridan was appearing in a stage production of Bugsy Malone — and was supposed to get up early the next morning to plug the show with fellow cast members on TV’s This Morning.
Hannah recalls in her new book: “I woke up with a tongue like fur and switched on the telly to hear the music from This Morning cheerily ringing out.
“Sheridan woke up with a start, groaning at my clattering about the apartment.
“She lifted her head up to look at the TV screen and her eyes widened in horror.
“ ‘F***!’ she yelled. ‘What’s the time? We need to be on telly at 10.30!’”
It was Sheridan’s mum who had spotted music mogul Simon Fuller’s advert in The Stage newspaper looking for singers to join his new band.
Sheridan convinced Hannah to go along with her to the open audition for the group that would become S Club 7.
But it was only Hannah who got through to the next round.
She said: “Can you believe they sent Sheridan home without hearing her sing? Imagine being the one who made that decision.
“The audition process was brutal and I couldn’t believe I’d made it through to the next round. Sheridan was there for me when I got home.
“She was so supportive of everything that was happening to me and didn’t seem bothered at all about missing out.
"You only have to look at what she’s gone on to do since.”
During those early years of their careers, Hannah and Sheridan’s pad became known as the place to hang out.
Frequent visitors included party-loving EastEnders stars Sid Owen and Dean Gaffney.
Hannah said: “We were wild! Sid used to love to sing and when the four of us were together and drunk he’d get on the piano and rattle out the tunes.
“It was hilarious watching him go for it, because up till that point I’d known him as ‘Rickkkkkkky’!”
One person who did catch Hannah’s eye in 1999 was Westlife singer Brian McFadden.
She said: “We’d crossed paths quite a few times and always chatted backstage at events, so we would often speak and I guess flirt a bit.
“I liked the way he carried himself — he had swagger. We did have a couple of dates, went out for drinks.
“I found him charming, naughty, entertaining and very handsome.
“We may have both been in a hotel at one point together, or something like that. But then he ghosted me.
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“I’d thought he liked me, and wrote him a love letter to explain how I felt, and it turned out he was in love with Kerry Katona.”
Hannah, who has two young daughters, Taya, four, and Tora, two, with nutritionist partner Adam Thomas, 43, is looking forward to the future after signing up to be part of 2024’s cast of ITV’s Dancing On Ice.
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