Paddy McGuinness takes just ONE minute to make hilarious divorce gag as he returns to stand-up comedy

PADDY McGUINNESS has found the funny side of his divorce – turning it into some of his best material for his new stand-up show.

The TV presenter and comic returned to live comedy for the first time in eight years on Thursday with his Nearly There show.

And it took him just 63 seconds to get in a dig at Christine, from whom he split in 2022 after 11 years of marriage and three children together.

Addressing his near-sellout crowd at Blackburn’s King George’s Hall, Bolton-born Paddy said: “It’s all about love and respect tonight.

“Loads of love in this room. I don’t care what race you are, what religion, what your sexuality is.

“I don’t care how you identify. You can identify as a cat, for all I care.

“Put your litter tray in the corner, knock yourself out.

“Tonight, folks, we’re all here as human beings with one common goal — and that’s to help me pay for my divorce. I’ve had the pants down, me, the pants down.”

Amid howls of laughter from the audience, the BBC Radio 2 presenter — who is set to do a charity bike ride for Children In Need next month across Wales, England and Scotland — added: “I’m thinking of getting Children In Need to do a bike ride for me next year, or come round to a bedsit in Bolton filming me.”

The 90-minute show was laden with knee-slapping snipes at other celebs, including Amazon boss Jeff Bezos and his baldness, axed ITV star ­Phillip Schofield, disgraced newsreader Huw Edwards  . . . and Prince Andrew.

Paddy said: “Eight years ago, you could go down to London, enjoy a day out with the family, do a bit of sightseeing, go to Buckingham Palace.

“And if you look in at the Royal Balcony, you’d see the warm, friendly face . . . a few of you are ahead of me there, aren’t you?

“Prince Andrew, there he is! We love you, Andrew! He never breaks a sweat, does he?”

And in a routine on Botox, he said of Simon Cowell: “My God, he has got a face like a melted ­Caramac.”

Paddy’s comedy comeback was hilarious — although Christine may disagree, given his divorce jibe.

With the pair still sharing their Cheshire pad, there could be a frosty  reception when he gets home.