Meghan Trainor says she was ‘seeing things’ and ‘going crazy’ as she opens up about her battle with depression and anxiety for the first time

US superstar MEGHAN TRAINOR speaks for the first time about her ­devastating battle with depression and anxiety in the new episode of my podcast, renamed The Dan Wootton Interview for the 2018 season.

The All About That Bass singer details her despair after her pop career was threatened when she required surgery on her vocal cords — less than two years after going under the knife for the same issue.

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— which you can listen to for free by searching for The Dan Wootton Interview on Apple Podcasts and iTunes — she tells me: “I thought, ‘My God, is it going to be over for me for ever?’

“I fell into a crazy, deep hole of depression and anxiety.”

It was her Spy Kids actor fiancé DARYL SABARA who was able to help the Grammy winner turn her life around, including ­dropping 20lbs.

However, for a long time Meghan was confined to her home as she was struck down by crippling panic attacks and apparent physical ­problems that she now realises were brought on by anxiety.

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She explains in heartwrenching, honest detail: “When I had an ­episode it would last for three days.

"I was crippled and had this pain.

“Eventually I was going to ­doctors, psychologists and therapists and I was like, ‘My back feels like someone has a flame to it, I’m not sure if I’m going crazy.’

";And I’m feeling like I’m crazy, losing my mind.

“I remember standing in (US pharmacy) CVS with my friend in line and I saw the whole back row behind her move, when she didn’t.

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“You know, moments like that I had, dissociation with your body and you think you’re schizophrenic — you’re seeing things.

“I was sitting in my bathroom and the lights turned yellow. In those moments, you’re terrified, you feel alone.

“You feel like there’s something wrong with you and you’re embarrassed to talk about it. No one can help you. It’s your brain. It’s chemicals.”

Meghan — who releases her incredible comeback single No Excuses on Friday— had a realisation about her situation after making an emergency trip to the hospital, believing she was having an allergic reaction.

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She recalls: “I went to the emergency room one night, because I thought I was allergic to what I ate.

“My throat was closing and I was having trouble breathing.

“They told me, ‘This is a full-blown panic attack.’

“I said, ‘What do you mean?’ ‘This is your brain tricking you, telling you that your throat . . . ’

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“It blows your mind. What I learned is people have it and don’t talk about it.”

Meghan confided in Daryl and her brother, who had experienced similar panic attacks.

She says: “I was the poster child of ‘I’m brave and I love who I am and I’m here.’

“And I was the opposite. I was crumbling in my bed, like, ‘I want to stay here and get through.’

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“You feel like you have the flu. You’re like, ‘How is my brain doing this? How does it have that much power over me?’

“I didn’t understand it. I was completely confused. That’s why I had to research it.”

That research has seen Meghan completely overhaul her lifestyle and seek ­professional help.

She says: “I took time off. I took time for me.

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"The hardest part is when you’re in the middle of it and truly believe there is no way this will ever end — ‘I’m going to be stuck like this for ever’ — and I believed that, until I slowed down with my anxiety and it stopped happening 24 hours a day.

“It was only like an hour. I was like, ‘Wow, I have some ­control now.’ Your brain is another person and you have to have a ­relationship with it.

“It took months — I’m still in therapy. I would see my therapist once a week and I started working out a lot and that really helped me.

"I take a lot of vitamins — I love Bulletproof vitamins. They’ve even got stuff for your eyes. I drank a gallon of water a day, sometimes more, for months now.”

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The last time I interviewed Meghan at Bizarre HQ, we had a KFC lunch — but she has now totally changed her diet too, despite being hailed as the perfect plus-sized pop star.

She says: “I was like, ‘It’s great, I can be a pop star and eat pizza and eat whatever I want,’ but I wasn’t ­taking care of myself and I was getting sick.

"I’d get bronchitis on the road. Now I look back and I’m like, ‘Oh my God, how I ­survived any of that was crazy because I wasn’t taking care of myself.’

“Talking to a therapist teaches you. God, I wasn’t loving myself. I was wearing Spanx, I was ­miserable. I was in a corset for a photoshoot, you know?

“I eat really clean, no sugar and low-carb as much as I can.

"Before, I was having Thai food every night and pizza.

"I can truly say I haven’t had bread in over a year now ­probably and I don’t wake up like, ‘God, I want toast.’

"I never crave bread.”

READ ON FOR MORE OF DAN WOOTTON'S BIZARRE COLUMN

Mum's not the word, Adele

ADELE recently suggested Meghan was pregnant during a night out for ELLEN DEGENERES’ 60th birthday.

Meghan said: “I wasn’t drinking at the Ellen party and Adele’s like, ‘I think you’re pregnant’.

“I’m not pregnant, I just don’t drink now.”

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But she admits she and fiancé Daryl have been discussing starting a family for a long time, saying: “My mum was a young mum.

“She was 23 when she was popping us out and did it all in a row, and my dad was 44.

“They were 20 years apart, so they were like, ‘Let’s get it going’. So I think it’s in my head that I’m my mother’s age when she had babies. I love how young she is with me and how we’re best friends. I want that with my kids.

“I was just walking by diapers and started crying. I’m way too emotional lately.

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“Daryl’s like, ‘You all right?’ and I was like, ‘I feel like we should be buying these’.”

Meghan’s emotions nearly got the better of her when she met Adele  at the party too.

She recalls: “She came up to me because I was talking to JAMES CORDEN and James’s wife. So I was just trying to be really, really cool like, ‘What’s up girl? Hey, how are you doing?’

“I was telling her about my lifestyle and my new album.

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“She was so nice to me and then she was like, ‘We’re going to go sit, be the first people to sit,’ because no one was sitting.

"I’m following her through the crowds and we were just like, ‘Hey COLDPLAY, what’s happening?’ We freaked out.”

Meghan's 1st date

MEGHAN’S first-ever date was anything but romantic.

She revealed: “I think we went to the movies. I remember making out. He burped in my mouth – Doritos. It was so awful I can like taste it now.”

The world's luckiest fiance

MEGHAN’S actor fiancé pulled out all the stops when he proposed on her birthday last December.

Daryl popped the question in front of her family, who he brought along in secret, under a tunnel of Christmas lights in Palm Springs, California.

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Meghan recalled: “When he gets down, I’m crying so hard I can’t see him, I kind of go blackout and just say yes. He tells me I’m beautiful and since he first saw my eyes he wanted to be with me for ever.

“It’s a zoo, too, so there were cute animals every-where. I saw reindeer right before I got proposed to, It’s just a magical princess story.”

There is no wedding plan yet and she joked: “We could run away and tell no one – but I want my dad there.”

Meghan's 1st love

MEGHAN’S found her happy ending but she admitted she’s been snubbed by the only other man she’s loved.

She said: “It was with my first boyfriend. I was like 15, Matt Megliosi – that’s his name. Now he doesn’t talk to me at all.”

A fierce return

Meghan returns with her single No Excuses, her first song since her second bout of vocal surgery – not that you could tell.

Bringing the fierce female sass of ARETHA FRANKLIN, this lead track off her third album, outon Thursday, proves she’s still at the top of her game.

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Meghan said: “I love how so many women are standing up for what’s right. I wanted to write us all a ­powerful anthem.

“Sometimes, people talk down to me because I’ve only been doing this for four years, so I wrote this song.

“It’s my modern version of R-E-S-P-E-C-T. It’s all about equality and being kind.”

It’s great to have her back.

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Meghan's 1st hangover

SHE is clean-living now, but recalls her worst hangover: “I was young, I can’t say how old, but I bought the booze and my brothers had me drink it and left for the party without me because I was too drunk.

"They tricked me.”

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Glad to lose spanx

SHE’S been a champion of curves since she first burst on to the music scene with her body-loving hit All About That Bass.

But now 20lb lighter after her recent lifestyle overhaul, Meghan has confessed she wasn’t always as happy with her weight as she seemed. She said: “I was wearing Spanx, I was miserable.”

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But she added: “My goal wasn’t to lose weight. I wanted to look healthy. I wanted people to be like,

‘Wow, your skin is great’ and, ‘You look put together’.

“But I also have a picture of me in a photoshoot in my gym and when I look at that I’m like, ‘No more Spanx’. I don’t want to trap myself in that outfit all day, so I haven’t worn Spanx except for one thing so far. Freedom for the belly.”