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SILENT NIGHT
The 5-step plan to get your sleep on track and the 4 mistakes that make it worse – from sleep tech to ‘early nights’
EXPERTS say by obsessing over sleep, you're pushing it away. Here's the tips they all agree on...
CAN'T get no sleep?
According to a survey by The Sleep Charity, nine in 10 Brits experience sleep problems, and normalising our sleep deprivation means people don’t ask for help.
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“We need to understand the role that sleep plays in our 24-hour lives – it’s more than just knowing we need it,” says insomnia expert and author of
“It’s the unsung hero of your personal best. Being ‘sleep fit’ means you feel restored and energised,” says Natalie.
But it’s normal for sleep to go through periods of imperfection.
“We need to take responsibility for our sleep – like diet and exercise,” says , sleep psychologist and founder of .
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Time for a wake-up call…
What we get wrong about sleep…
1. Thinking it’ll evade us
We tend to fear that, without sleep, everything will go horribly wrong.
“This fear that terrible things are going to happen, driving us to ritualistic and unhelpful sleep hacks, is causing mental health issues, and inevitably pushes sleep away,” says Stephanie.
Overworrying, particularly as night draws in, may induce thoughts such as: “I just can’t sleep well.”
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Natalie calls this “trash-talking sleep”.
“Imagining poor sleep or believing that you can’t sleep just fuels a cocktail of unhelpful nervous system responses,” explains Natalie.
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“Negative thoughts can manifest themselves in physical, cognitive or behavioural symptoms that can inhibit healthy sleep routines. Sleep should never be a stressor – you were born with the skill.”
Sleep deprivation is linked to increased risks of Alzheimer’s, stroke and heart attacks, but the risk accumulates over many years.
“Sleep is like a butterfly landing each day – pay too much attention and it moves away, embrace stillness and relax, and it lands right on your shoulder,” says Natalie.
2. Stressing about quantity and getting an 'early night'
You may think the way to fix sleep is to get more of it and will plan an 'early night'.
But when you lie in bed for hours unable to sleep, you feel increasingly frustrated that you have failed.
Sleep experts say it’s the quality of sleep that matters, not the hours.
“Research shows sleep quality is a big driver to a healthy brain and emotional wellbeing, so 61/2 hours of calm, settled sleep is better than nine hours of tossing and turning,” says Natalie.
Read more below about why wake-up time is more important than bedtime.
3. Fearing 'insomnia' and avoiding help
Insomnia is defined as regularly having sleep problems – either short-term (under three months) or chronic.
“People think insomnia is an absence of sleep, but it’s also broken, irregular-patterned sleep,” says Stephanie.
Your GP may refer you for CBTI (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Insomnia), to help reframe thoughts and break cycles. The NHS also recommends Sleepio, a digital CBTI course.
4. Believing gadgets are the only answer
Many turn to sleep-tracking gadgets or apps, only to find they confirm what we already believe – that our sleep is bad – and drive us to buy into quick fixes that won’t work alone and may cause more anxiety when they don’t.
“People are too obsessed with sleep hacks that require little to no effort from themselves, such as taking supplements,” says Stephanie.
“But if you don’t respect your sleep drive, the other stuff won’t do anything.”
What keeps you up at night?
All self-destructive thoughts aside, some sleep thieves are more outside our control than others.
“The main culprits are money, work and health stresses, and worrying about our loved ones,” says Natalie.
Anxieties seem to become loudest as soon as we hit the pillow, and Kerry Davies, AKA , says this often comes down to busy lives.
“You haven’t got time to think about anything during the day, so all those thoughts come to the fore at night,” she says.
Noise and light sneaking into the bedroom, caused by a snoring partner, a busy road or restless children is “more of a problem than we realise,” Natalie adds.
The World Health Organisation cites noise as a sleep nuisance that drives people to sleeping pills.
Physical disruptors of sleep include chronic pain, illness, hormone imbalances, alcohol or nicotine and unhealthy eating – sleep patterns can change drastically over a lifetime or from one day to the next.
How to reset your sleep…
1. Seek daylight first thing
You can give your brain cues throughout the day that it is time to either wake up or rest.
“We don’t need world-class hacks – we need relatable recovery tools that support our circadian rhythms,” says Natalie.
Circadian rhythms are largely based on exposure to light – daylight signals our brains to produce serotonin to help wake us up, while the absence of light leads to melatonin, a natural sleep hormone.
In an ideal world, Natalie says we would all watch the sunrise and sunset.
Try to seek morning light within the first hour of waking, ideally in the first 20 minutes.
“I gradually reduce the lights inside my home during the evening, going from overhead lights to lamps or candles,” says Natalie.
2. Stick to consistent wake-up times
Regardless of the time you hit the sack, set the same alarm every day – even on weekends.
“You can’t force yourself to go to sleep, but you can force yourself to wake up,” says Kerry.
Stephanie says anchoring our “wake-up time” is critical.
“The only way to build sufficient sleep pressure so that you feel predictably sleepy at the same time in the evening, and sleep through the night most of the time, is by regulating your get-up time,” says Stephanie.
If you’re tired during the day, avoid taking a nap.
Instead, allow the sleep pressure to build to draw you to bed at night.
3. Find your unwind
Relaxing before bed helps prepare the body for sleep, whether it’s with a skincare routine, reading or breathing exercises.
Don’t like the idea of meditation? Don’t do it!
“People do these things because they think it’s going to make them sleep, but that shouldn’t be the intention,” says Kerry.
“The intention should be because it relaxes you, and when you feel relaxed, sleep comes more easily.”
Watching TV is not necessarily banned, even in bed.
“The TV is unlikely to be causing sleep problems,” says Kerry.
“People think they shouldn’t be watching it, but I wonder how much of that is psychosomatic. If quitting your phone is difficult, turn it to grayscale in settings to make it less interesting,” Kerry says.
Research has long warned that blue light emitted by screens can hamper sleep, but it’s an idea now being challenged by sleep experts.
Do you avoid bedtime because the late hours are the only me-time you get?
Squash this by finding moments to yourself in the day, even if it’s just five minutes to listen to a favourite song.
Also, journalling can help “close off the day” by dumping thoughts that can be revisited in the morning, Kerry says.
4. Set the scene
Not only does your environment help you drift off, it also helps keep you snoozing, boosting overall sleep quality.
“Think of a luxury hotel room – it’s designed for sleep, with layered lighting, bedside tables and always free of clutter,” says Natalie.
But you don’t have to redesign your bedroom.
“You just need to be at a comfortable temperature, be safe and in a dark place in order to unwind.”
If you don’t mind not having any natural light come morning, consider fitting blackout blinds or using an eye mask and earplugs.
5. Keep it cool
There is a reason why warm baths always make the sleep tips list.
To fall asleep, the body’s core temperature must drop between 1-3°C.
“Having a bath before bed can jumpstart the body’s process of vasodilation (widening of the blood vessels), helping cool you down faster in preparation for sleep,” says Natalie.
An ambient temperature in the bedroom is between 16-19°C.
Get a wall thermometer to keep a check on the temperature and open any windows to allow fresh air in, if need be.
“Your core body temperature has a huge effect on your sleep quality, yet is so often overlooked,” says Natalie.
“If it gets too hot in your bedroom, you will have a fractious, disturbed sleep.”
Tech that’ll help your sleep
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Ellie, 44, said: “I’ve been hunting for comfy and washable earplugs for years.
"I read about Happy Ears after they won some awards, and they lived up to their reputation.
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"They block out all sound and come in three sizes.
"Made using ocean plastics from the Pacific and Atlantic, you can get a good night’s sleep and feel smug at the same time!”
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Sophie, 39, says: “I suffer with hot flushes in the evenings, which then turn into night sweats.
"The cool mat was very cold when I first laid on it and it cooled me down.
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"But the mat didn’t stay cold once I was lying on it, so I was still hot throughout the night with my hot flushes.
"I also think it could be better designed to keep it from scrunching up in the bed.
"That said, it does keep a lot of the sweat away from your body.”
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Vanessa, 28, says: “The Dodow Lamp is an LED light metronome that helps you relax.
"In the dark of your bedroom, it projects a small blue light on to the ceiling.
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"You need to breathe in as it glows and exhale as it gets smaller. Touch the surface once for an 8-minute mode or twice for 20 minutes.
"As I became familiar with the breathing pattern, I shut my eyes.
"More often than not, I felt relaxed and rolled over to sleep before 8 minutes were up, at which point Dodow turns itself off, so there’s no fiddling with phone apps or switches once you’re sleepy, which I love.
"It’s also great to ease thoughts that come with early-hour wake-ups.”
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Vanessa, 28, says: “The wake-up light roused me from my sleep earlier and over a longer time than a regular alarm.
"But it did not make waking up easier!
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"You can set the light to brighten over 10-30 minutes leading up to the alarm.
"Additional light settings for sunset are great for pre-bedtime ambience.
"It is wireless, so needs charging, and is operated with fiddly traditional buttons, rather than an app.”
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Ruth, 47, said: “It clips to the ear for an hour daily and sends electrical impulses to the brain via the vagus nerve, making you feel calmer – like meditation might – and priming you for sleep.
"It’s clinically proven to ease stress, blood pressure and inflammation, and can help with anxiety, pain and depression.
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"I felt more chilled, have slept well and seen an improvement in digestive issues, which had disturbed my sleep.
"A good investment if you can afford it.”
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Vanessa, 28, says: “The slip and shorts combo felt invisible on my body.
'The Nattcool Air material is apparently 14 times more breatheable than cotton and twice as good at absorbing sweat in the night, which can occur due to menopause, medication, anxiety, or, for me, nightmares.
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'A bonus is that the shorts do not ride up and cause discomfort, and the fit is very flattering.”
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Sasha, 30, said: “I have always used an eye mask and am often tempted by a new, pretty silk one.
"But this one is far more practical.
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"It’s made of memory foam and breathable materials, so I don’t notice it in the night, and it’s still on my head come morning.
"The eye cups are hollowed out, so there is no pressure on my eyes – or my eyelash extensions!
"It completely blocks out all light, too.”
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Sinead, 52, says: "I have been an incredibly light sleeper all my life and have always used Boots Muffle Wax which suit my vey narrow ear canals.
"But these buds come in varied fitting sizes.
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"Hooked up to Bluetooth via the Soundcore app, you can also play different sounds - like white noise or bird song - directly into the earbud to help you drift off.
"This was a welcome distraction given I have tinnitus, which is always worse in the quiet of night.
"These earbuds are excellent at keeping out noise. I was no more woken by the pigeons on our roof at 5am!
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"A bonus is they can track how well you have slept."
- Sleep Reset by Natalie Pennicotte-Collier (£16.99, Vermilion) is out now
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