An introvert’s guide to the Christmas party season – 7 steps to feel the festive joy

WHEN you hear the words “party season”, are you filled with dread, or buzzing with excitement?

If it’s the former, you are probably an introvert – and even the thought of all that socialising leaves you feeling exhausted.

“Introverts do enjoy social activities. However, they find it more draining than an extroverted person,” explains chartered psychologist and host of the podcast Dr Mark Rackley ().

“Introverts like their own company.

“Spending time alone doing something they enjoy will be a pleasurable experience.

“An extrovert struggles to do this and will seek out other people to do an activity with them.

“Put simply, extroverts get their energy from other people, while introverts get their energy from themselves.”

While it is possible to be a mix of both introvert and extrovert – known as an ambivert – you will typically sway more to one than the other, especially when you’re in a social setting.

If you class yourself as an introvert, or simply struggle to find the energy to keep going through the party season, here are some simple ways to ensure you can still enjoy this time of year, without feeling tired, moody and overwhelmed . . .

Pace Yourself

You don’t have to attend – or cancel – every social event you’re invited to.

The balance is somewhere in between.

You may choose to RSVP to smaller occasions that are more intimate, with close friends or family.

“This allows for deeper conversations and more comfortable interactions, which are less draining for introverts,” says Dr Elena Touroni, a consultant psychologist and co-founder of The Chelsea Psychology Clinic.

“Balance is key.

“After large social gatherings, introverts might feel mentally or emotionally drained, needing some alone time to recharge.”

Is it possible for you to work from home the next day, away from others?

“You may also need to have a relaxing day beforehand,” Mark adds.

Prioritise some me-time, so you’re ready to socialise when the moment strikes.

What about if you want to say “no” to events?

“Honesty is the best policy,” says Mark.

“A position statement, such as: ‘I’d love to be there, but at the moment I find social events overwhelming,’ is enough.

“If the other person doesn’t understand or respect this, that is not your problem to solve, it’s theirs.”

Take Micro-Breaks

An introvert may notice themselves becoming overstimulated in busy or noisy environments – AKA the festive period!

“During social interactions, introverts often crave moments of quiet or solitude to recharge, and without this, the experience can become tiring rather quickly,” explains Dr Touroni.

“Small breaks can help you reset and manage overstimulation.”

Why not try stepping outside for some fresh air or find a quiet corner for a few moments of peace?

If you need an excuse, call a trusted friend for five minutes before finding the drive to head back inside.

Front Load

It’s likely that as an introvert, you have more energy at the start of a gathering.

Use this to your advantage to make a great first impression and have bigger, more meaningful conversations.

If the work party starts in the afternoon and goes into the late evening, don’t feel you have to stay for the whole thing.

“Attend events at times when you naturally have more energy, such as earlier in the day, and try to leave before you start feeling drained,” says Dr Touroni.

Relieve The Pressure

It may have taken everything you’ve got to turn up to the occasion, so when you get there, the last thing you want is to be dragged into a drinking game or group activity.

“If your presence at a social event is all you can handle, that’s enough,” says Mark.

“Don’t feel pressured by others to dance or participate if you don’t want to do.”

You could also excuse yourself by catching up with a friend you haven’t seen in a long time.

But Dr Touroni adds that sometimes it helps to tackle being a wallflower by throwing yourself in at the deep end.

“Accept that you might feel some anxiety, but that can dissipate if you engage with the activity and fully focus on what you are doing,” she explains.

“If you can still fully participate even when anxious, this is usually an effective way of combating that anxiety.

“This is a skill that we call ‘acting the opposite to emotions’.”

Find a Partner In Crime

If you can, seek out one or two people to spend time with in a social setting, ideally people you feel a connection with.

If it’s a gathering of colleagues, family or friends, there’s bound to be someone there you can confide in who will understand how you feel.

“Having someone with us at a social event who comprehends the challenges we face can be hugely supportive,” explains Mark.

“Consider having someone there who can assist you if you need to take a time-out or make an excuse to leave early if you are done with the evening.”

Manage Small Talk

“Small talk can be excruciating for introverts as it is tiring and hard to maintain,” says Mark.

“A way to manage this is to ask the other person questions about themself and listen more than you talk.

“This can help conserve your energy, as well as build the conversation.”

Sometimes people love talking about themselves, which might drain you, so bring another person into the conversation to ease the intensity.

Accept Who You Are

Let’s get one thing straight – there is nothing wrong with being an introvert.

You aren’t bringing down the mood or giving people a bad impression of you just because you are not the life of the party, despite what your brain is telling you.

“If the world was solely filled with extroverts or introverts, then it would not be as interesting,” says Mark.

“Being introverted is a part of who you are – it’s your personality – but it does not define you, unless you let it.”